Drowning

This is a true story. Of what happened to me one spring break.

Pulling into the beach after driving 14 hours stright. I have just gotten word that the motel we had was not ready for us. Since we was a day ahead on when we was going to be here. I get out of my car to feel the ocean air and smell of the ocean sea. Something I have missed since being here with my parants last year.

It was alot colder then I thought. It is middle of March. Place is Dayton FL. Mood. Spring Break.
We are all being teased for being so white. Peeps are leaving back for home as new peeps are coming in.

Somone had made a food run before coming in. All I got was one little bacon egg thingy that tasted like it was made from sand. And drank a canned coke. I was wore out, nasty and needed a shower,bed. Someplace to crash.

Since we had no place togo. We decided the shower would be the ocean. And the beds the seats of the cars. Beach. Or what ever we could find. We dug out the swimming gear and went into the ocean.

Dammmm, it was cold. So cold I remember being chilled to bone. Only good thingy, it woke me up. I have never been in the ocean to where the water was so cold. We was even warned by a life guard that it was really to cold to be in for long times.

As we are playing in the waves, we all start belly riding the waves in. And then running back to do it again and again. I think I was maybe on my 4 or 5 time running back into the ocean. I do remember by the time I got back to the sandbar. I was so out of breath. I was just needing to take a break before the next wave came through.

As I was resting a little and talking to everyone around. Waiting for a big wave to come in. The ocean changed its tune. For it can. No waves really doing much at all. Just enough to lift you off the sand bar and set you back down. But not even close enough to break on you.

After 5 or 6 waves like that. One was coming to us again. Not big enough to really do much as riding, but a lot larger then most. It liftted everyone up and sat then back down to where you could see swimming trunks. Everyone. But me! I went down. So far down. I was not finding anything. I come up gasping not a few feet to Ron.

He looks kinda puzzled as I am trying to swim to him.
"What are you doing" He ask me.
"I am trying to get to you!!!!" I say in a panic voice.
"Well, come here then." He says laughing not knowing I was not on the bar.
He grabs my hand and pulls me. But I did not move. He moved off the bar. And then seen what was going on.
"What the Fuck!!!" He yells at loud. As he lets go of me. And sees me floating really fast away.
The others grabbed him. Which took alot of doing to do. But I was to far away by the time anyone could do anything for me.

This all happened so fast. That nothing was said. The fear in there eyes must have been the fear in my own eyes. I had to of looked like I was done for. For. It took all I had to just stay above the water line and breath. And I was in the undertow, moving faster then I thought possible.

I do not remember seeing them going back into the beach. We was so far out. It took awhile to even ride a wave in. And I was moving so fast out. I could not see them anymore when I tried to look that way. Really. It took all I had to stay a float.

And I was wore out from the trip, no food, and playing in the water before this happened. My breathing was so hard. I was starting to see stars as they call it. All was going blurry and dark around me. I did notice I had went so far out. I could not see the beach. And I had drifted down wards so far. I could not see the motel or the cars we came in.

My friends did make it to a life guard. But they could not see me from there anymore. He did not believe them. He thought it was a spring break prank. I did how ever see a life gaurd standing on that big tall seat waving a flag at me. Well. I think it was me.

I was like. Your joking right???? Do you think I am out here on purpose??? I did not even have the strenght to rise my arm for help. And not even sure he was looking at me. After then I really had a hard time seeing or hearing anything.

I kept seeing things to grab on to. But nothing there. That was so upsetting. For my mind made them look as real, and real could be. But my hand just went through them. It was at that time. I knew. I was going to die. And how I was going to die. For I could not hardly move my arms or legs anymore.

Waves kept going over my head. I kept spitting out water from them. Only thing after that. That I said, Was"Oh God" all I was able to utter out. Then wondering do I passout? or do I end it myself?
And how would that work. Suck in a lot of water. If I passout. Would I wake up gasping in water.

Something I never thought in my life. I would need to decide. Not much of a thought though. For I just keep swimming. I was surprised I was still able to do it. For now I could not see anything at all. And my hearing was just about gone also.

My X girlfriend came into my mind. Of all things. One when I was 10th grader of 2 years before this happened. I was not the Lion in school as some of you know me now. I was dragon. For that is why you see a Dragon drowing on the pic. And not a Lion

She will never know the truth behind what really happened. And why I left her. She was always teaseing me about how she felt. And she did push it alot of the times to the limits. Why. I have not a clue. But one morning I just told her I was done. And walked away.

That crushed her so bad. More then I would have thought. But I did not care. I was done with it.
Big mistake I made. I knew it then, and I knew it now about to die. And she really did not understand why either.

I after that. I also was pissed that someone was going to drive my car home. What the mind comes up with. Did not matter. I was done. I was just hardly moving. And the waves kept water over me more and more to where I could not hardly keep my mouth above the water.

I heard a sound, like splashing, and someone saying something in a mumbling voice. I felt something and grab to it. For it was something hard. When I did. My body shut down. My legs and arms cramped and I do not think you could have pulled me off of that red float.

Nothing was said, nor do I think I could hear or even speak. After being able to rest and finally get some of my breath. I was able to start seeing again. And seen we was so far out. I could not believe it. And the life guard was taking all he could to just hardly move him and me.

We was so far out. I thought. Shit. He will need this float now. For I did not see how he could get us both to the beach. And I would go through all this again. But another one was on his way. And pulled both of us in. For the first was done also. He could not move anymore.

When we got to the beach. I could not move, talk or nothing. Really still could not see or hear good. And my so called breakfast wanted to come back up with that coke I had. I was unable to move for about a hour after that. I got took to the doctors office and such. Spent the night there. I never got water in my lungs. Do not know how that did not happen.

I found out later on I was out there for at least 15 min. Never found out how far I was though. Never got to thank the guards and all that helped me.

Though I lived. I also died out there. For my life has never been the same. The mental wound of that happening damaged me for life. It also damaged my heart somehow. It now gets out of beat or skips beats all the time. In doing that it causes you to feel like your not getting air. Since the blood flow is halted for a bit.

I can not do anything that causes the heart to race alot. For it somehow causes that to happen more.

I have never been back to the ocean. Nor in water very deep. The reason all if this came to mind. Is my life after that. Seems to be the samething. Fighting to stay about water.

Wave after wave. You think you just need to last a little longer. Only to see another wave coming to knock you down. And try and drown you. Gasping and fighting for air. Trying to live for one more second.

I am a Dragon. That now is a Lion. Fighting to stay above the water. In the ocean of this world. That I do not understand.

>^..^<